Post by Bruce Partington-Plans on Sept 28, 2023 14:10:24 GMT
Thanks to the Autocar magazine I have recently been made aware of some suitably chappist automotive gewgaws that once were available to the gentleman motorist, including the following spiffing items:
A reinforced felt driving cap to prevent head injuries could surely find a market today among owners of convertible sports cars, cyclists and even equestrians. It must be time to reintroduce it to the road users of the 21st century - think of all the lives that would be saved and the sartorial [headgear] enlightenment that would follow! (Incidentally I am also delighted to learn that there was once such an establishment as The British Hat and Allied Feltmakers Research Association. They should bring that back too!)
Why on earth this is not still a thing I can't imagine! Whoever thought of this is a certified genius and ought to have been knighted for services to automotive design. Every car ought to have this as standard if you ask me. If you've ever caught yourself wondering where to put your tea and biscuits as you're bumbling down the M4, wonder no more!
Some relation to our own Actuarius, no doubt, and another fine engineering solution from the Moseley stable. I believe variations on the original design are still available today (as is the above poster, should anyone be interested).
Should your motor car come with a non-leather or non-wood steering wheel, wouldn't it be good to be able to banish all fears of embarrassment by procuring a cover in leopard, jaguar or ocelot to hide your ugly steering device. What a shame such "products of distinction" are not available to the drivers of today!
Why shouldn't today's drivers be able to look like they've just reversed into the baggage handling depot of their local aerodrome?! If, like me, you have often longed for the ability to carry enough suitcases to sink a steamship, then we must petition our nearest accessories supplier to reintroduce this wonder luggage trailer!
I do believe that car coats like this 'Silverstone 12' can still be had today from some decent outfitters. Alas though, not from Thrussels ("The Man's Shop of the Midlands") any more, I fear.
Perfect for those long business trips where you've forgotten what the wife looks like, or just want a distraction while you're queued at Clackett Lane services, the "Safety-Face" photoframe is surely overdue for a comeback. I am particularly impressed by the veiled menace implied within the "Good Luck" and "Drive carefully, remember me" phrases that flank the picture of your loved one. Definitely a contender for a 21st-century makeover, perhaps with the latest eye-phone that is stuck to your screen.
I can't see why this genius device shouldn't be flying off the shelves of your local Halfords come Christmastime. Just don't start waving it around at the local constabulary otherwise you may find yourself at the wrong end of one of their guns and it'll be you who "won't have a chance"...
Just imagine - this in your rear window and the Brexton Minitable on your dashboard. Who would need to go back in the house again?! Genius of the first order. Ought to be standard on today's cars, never mind optional.
If the motorist of 2023 feels that a flat cap doesn't suit them, then why not offer them an alternative in the form of an Alpine hat? Perhaps even more importantly - why is there no longer a Hatters' Information Centre?! The world would be a far, far better (and smarter) place with a HATTERS' INFORMATION CENTRE!!
For those longer journeys when tea and cake on your Minitable just isn't enough, this inspired idea should be reintroduced by all the major car manufacturers tout suite. With the electrical supply levels and number of sockets available on the modern motorcar you could probably run a dozen of these things and still have enough juice to get to John O'Groats and back. Perfect for that cooked breakfast and fresh pot of tea as you negotiate the North Circular.
There you have it, then, chaps. Who needs all this modern gadgetry when simple, chappist items like these could be made readily available again? Think of it - no more road rage, driver fatigue, traffic jams - all could be reduced or even eliminated by sympathetic 21st century updates to these spiffing accessories. Which is your favourite? What other gentlemanly accoutrements would you like to see (re)introduced to the cars of today?
A reinforced felt driving cap to prevent head injuries could surely find a market today among owners of convertible sports cars, cyclists and even equestrians. It must be time to reintroduce it to the road users of the 21st century - think of all the lives that would be saved and the sartorial [headgear] enlightenment that would follow! (Incidentally I am also delighted to learn that there was once such an establishment as The British Hat and Allied Feltmakers Research Association. They should bring that back too!)
Why on earth this is not still a thing I can't imagine! Whoever thought of this is a certified genius and ought to have been knighted for services to automotive design. Every car ought to have this as standard if you ask me. If you've ever caught yourself wondering where to put your tea and biscuits as you're bumbling down the M4, wonder no more!
Some relation to our own Actuarius, no doubt, and another fine engineering solution from the Moseley stable. I believe variations on the original design are still available today (as is the above poster, should anyone be interested).
Should your motor car come with a non-leather or non-wood steering wheel, wouldn't it be good to be able to banish all fears of embarrassment by procuring a cover in leopard, jaguar or ocelot to hide your ugly steering device. What a shame such "products of distinction" are not available to the drivers of today!
Why shouldn't today's drivers be able to look like they've just reversed into the baggage handling depot of their local aerodrome?! If, like me, you have often longed for the ability to carry enough suitcases to sink a steamship, then we must petition our nearest accessories supplier to reintroduce this wonder luggage trailer!
I do believe that car coats like this 'Silverstone 12' can still be had today from some decent outfitters. Alas though, not from Thrussels ("The Man's Shop of the Midlands") any more, I fear.
Perfect for those long business trips where you've forgotten what the wife looks like, or just want a distraction while you're queued at Clackett Lane services, the "Safety-Face" photoframe is surely overdue for a comeback. I am particularly impressed by the veiled menace implied within the "Good Luck" and "Drive carefully, remember me" phrases that flank the picture of your loved one. Definitely a contender for a 21st-century makeover, perhaps with the latest eye-phone that is stuck to your screen.
I can't see why this genius device shouldn't be flying off the shelves of your local Halfords come Christmastime. Just don't start waving it around at the local constabulary otherwise you may find yourself at the wrong end of one of their guns and it'll be you who "won't have a chance"...
Just imagine - this in your rear window and the Brexton Minitable on your dashboard. Who would need to go back in the house again?! Genius of the first order. Ought to be standard on today's cars, never mind optional.
If the motorist of 2023 feels that a flat cap doesn't suit them, then why not offer them an alternative in the form of an Alpine hat? Perhaps even more importantly - why is there no longer a Hatters' Information Centre?! The world would be a far, far better (and smarter) place with a HATTERS' INFORMATION CENTRE!!
For those longer journeys when tea and cake on your Minitable just isn't enough, this inspired idea should be reintroduced by all the major car manufacturers tout suite. With the electrical supply levels and number of sockets available on the modern motorcar you could probably run a dozen of these things and still have enough juice to get to John O'Groats and back. Perfect for that cooked breakfast and fresh pot of tea as you negotiate the North Circular.
There you have it, then, chaps. Who needs all this modern gadgetry when simple, chappist items like these could be made readily available again? Think of it - no more road rage, driver fatigue, traffic jams - all could be reduced or even eliminated by sympathetic 21st century updates to these spiffing accessories. Which is your favourite? What other gentlemanly accoutrements would you like to see (re)introduced to the cars of today?